The AWFUL fear is that you have to get it right or you will be laughed at.
“It becomes A very harmful, irrational belief, which takes a small fault to the extreme of terror” (Albert Ellis).
What’s the terrifying outcome we are so frightened of? A Further loss of self-esteem.
Rationally speaking we have to accept that there is no cosmic law that says we will always get it right. We have to be able to accept defeats without going to irrational extremes such as self-depreciation.
The main Rubrics having this fear (Periodic Table only):
Fear - observed; of her condition being ... CALC germ
Fear - opinion of others ... Ars aur-m bar-c bar-s calc Germ
Delusions - watched, she is being ... ARS Bar-c Calc Kali-br
Delusions - criticized, she is ... Bar-c calc germ nat-m pall plb positr rad-br
Delusions - laughed at and mocked ... adam BAR-c germ ph-ac
Sensitive - criticism to ... alum-sil am-c aur/m/s bar-c calc merc nat-m positr
Left Siders -> Positron Nat-m Bar-c Kali-br Calc alumina
Right Siders -> adam aurum pall merc am-c germ ph-ac ars
We can see that the fear of being observed exists on both sides of the Periodic Table - it is there on the left side, in people who feel there is something wrong within and on the right side, in people who feel there is something wrong with the world.
It is present in every stage so why is there such a spread? Well, we are all subject to disapproval from some quarter - as Dylan said, "Everyone must get stoned". Is insult felt more acutely by one group more than the other? No, but in the left side our structure is not so firm and we easily collapse and then withdraw into ourselves. On the right side we can also withdraw, but the fault is out there - its not us that's at fault. Right-siders can collapse even further to the right but there is aggression and resentment.
In the left-siders there is self-depreciation which engenders a sense of damaged self-hood. There is a belief that there is something wrong with ourselves. This is the core belief that connects all the left-siders. All these remedies help us realise that making a mistake it isn't all that AWFUL.
This is the central delusion - the self-defeating belief and the source of the mental habits that paralyse us.